Bob and Joanne Breiner returned home from a night out to find a man with a white beard nestled in their bed, sound asleep. Once police showed up and the drunken stranger realized what had happened, he apologized profusely and complimented the couple on their comfortable bed.The dude was eight miles from his house. He wasn't even close. A friend of mine once came back to his third-floor apartment after an afternoon of heavy drinking. He had to do some laundry for work the next day, so he stumbled down the north set of stairs to the complex's laundry facilities in the basement. When everything was done, he unwittingly walked up the south set of stairs, thinking he came up the same way he went down. When he got to his floor, he didn't realize that he was turned around. He walked into the apartment of an immigrant Japanese family that lived kitty-corner from him across the hall. I guess it took him a couple of moments to figure out what was going on. When his roommate heard, he laughed until tears came out of his eyes. My friend's probably lucky he didn't get arrested for a hate crime (stereotyping Easterners as raundry experts). __________ Oh man, I think I'm gonna hurl. This sounds horrible: Espresso Amber Ale is brewed with Maine-roasted, organic fair trade espresso in collaboration with Coffee By Design. The new brew is a flavorful, robust ale with toasty notes from the espresso in the front palate that delicately compliment the sweeter notes from the malts in the back palate. If I want to bounce off the walls while drinking, I'll just do shots of Red Bull between beers.
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